Scape NY

Coach Fag Bag Ad

2011-12-03T08:37:00.000-05:00

Tell me you didn't immediatelysee the word "fag" in this coach online ad.

Do Not Ingest No Matter How Tempting

2011-08-09T22:24:00.002-04:00

Grant's Tomb

2011-02-16T11:05:00.000-05:00

Grant's Tomb rotunda

Grant's Tomb rotunda too

Grace Under Fire

2010-10-01T11:14:00.001-04:00

Eaten by a Protozoan

2010-09-30T08:00:00.001-04:00

Publish Post

Daffodil Window Box

2010-09-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

Image by Babs K.

How Will She Ever Fit All That Meat In Her Mouth?!

2010-09-28T08:00:00.001-04:00

For a second the arm looks like it belongs to the woman in the poster.

Image by Babs K.

February London

2010-09-27T08:00:00.002-04:00

Image by Babs K.

Harry Chong

2010-09-26T08:00:00.001-04:00

Tell Me to Fuck Off If You Like

2010-09-25T08:00:00.004-04:00

Image by Babs K.

You Beautiful Little Scumbag

2010-09-24T08:00:00.004-04:00

Image by Babs K.

Converse Classic

2010-09-23T20:28:00.000-04:00

What a classic.

Image by Babs K.

Big 300! Let's Celebrate With a Classic!

2010-09-09T10:44:00.001-04:00

It's taken four years to get to big 300 for ScapeNY.com. This blog started out as a journal to chronicle my first year living in NYC and since then has morphed into a catch-all of everything I find interesting (crazy stories I just can't make up, places to go, things to do, products I love). Looking back it is really a pop culture time capsule (especially from 2006-2008). In 2010 it has been a place to post photographs I take around the city, but let's get back to the basics.

I thought it only appropriate to re-post the story that drives probably 90% of the traffic to ScapeNY. Yes, this is the epic tale of a tranny party I attended in 2007. No, I'm not a tranny, but I am friends with one. I will also point out that the grainy video I took at the party has been viewed over 38,000 times on YouTube. Haha.

Enjoy, and here's to our next 300!

Originally posted Tuesday, July 3 2007

Tranny Party - An Epic Tale

I have said it before, and I will say it again: there is something for everybody in NYC. Here is the background: one of my best gays use to have a tranny as a roommate. For those of you not in the know, a tranny is not a cross-dresser but one who has really kicked it up a notch and has opted for plastic surgery and may or may not have had a sex change. So, my friend's old roommate (we will call her Hot Tranny from here on out) was hosting this tranny party at the seediest bar I have ever been to at 31st and Madison. A group of 5 of us (3 gays 2 straights) really had no idea what to expect and thought at a minimum it would be good for a few laughs, some free drinks, and we could at least say hi to Hot Tranny who is fierce and fabulous in her silicone infused glory.

We showed up around 11:30 (before Hot Tranny) and had to entertain ourselves for about 15 minutes before we were allowed in the back VIP section. Along the perimeter of the room was a line of the most awkward looking, unattractive men I have ever seen. The weirdos come out of the woodwork for events like this, I guess. The one thing I thought very strange was that these guys were straight. Now, I pride myself in running with a pack of extremely attractive gay men and none of the bystanders even gave them a glance. They were mesmerized by the she-males.

All the sudden Hot Tranny emerged and we were whisked back to the VIP room where $3 bottles of Andre champagne were popped and Grey Goose bottles filled with Svedka were unleashed. While we were observing the spectacle that is Hot Tranny work the room, the VIP area slowly started to fill with guys who had paid $150 a ticket to be graced with her presence. When I say VIP room I am sure you think of Marquee or Bungalow...a special jewel of a room; a den of iniquity and inebriation for the chosen few. This VIP room mirrored one you might find in Eastern Europe with oscillating floor fans bolted to the ceilings, exposed wiring, duct tape mended Ikea couches, and a plywood riser for the 'ladies' to dance on. While Hot Tranny was easily the queen of the party, the other trannies looked like men with fake boobs (not hot). Although, one actually looked a little like Salma Hayek and there was another who mirrored a 1980's Annie Lenoxx. As it turns out the trannies were not there to be gawked at like creatures in the zoo, but to line up their tricks for the night and meet with their 'clients'. I use the term clients very loosely as these ladies were obviously not doing any type of taxes, interior design, or practicing law.

After cheap vodka and even cheaper champagne it was time to make a trip to the girls room.....or what actually was the tranny staging area. The women's bathroom was teeming with trannies in various stages of makeup and undress. The bathroom attendant quickly ushered them out (as there were no doors on the stalls, and they are in fact guys) so we could pee. My roommate and I were given our 5-square ration of toilet paper from the attendant then finally were able to have a brief reprieve from the scene outside the bolted door.

Back in the VIP room, the trannies danced on the box, flirted with gross guys, but my roommate and I noticed a quite handsome man enter the VIP area. Well dressed, straight looking, very attractive, and a little familiar......Hot Tranny went over immediately and started to talk him up. My friend Todd looks up and goes "OH MY GOD THAT IS HAROLD*!!!"(name has been changed to protect the guilty) Todd and I had met Harold* at a few high society house parties a while back, and while there was always an aire of questionable sexuality from him, he was in fact married to a woman (although we know that doesn't mean a damn thing). After Hot Tranny was done chatting we called her over and began the interrogation to make sure it was the same guy. Turns out it WAS this guy Harold, and he is in fact one of Hot Tranny's 'clients'. O-M-G what does one do with information like this???? His poor wife! I can not even imagine finding out that your husband is cheating on you with a chick who has a penis. I can't! Harold noticed us dying in the corner and quickly houdini'd out of the place. Todd texted him later to ask what he was up to, and he promptly replied that he was having dinner at Pastis...ya if by Pastis you mean cheating on your wife with a tranny, then I guess so. Can you imagine showing up somewhere like that in a very compromising environment where you think you will never be discovered....only to find two people who know you.

After that things were getting a little out of hand....lap dances, really mannish trannies, etc. so it was definitely time to jet. The gays and straights alike in our group were all a little fazed by the Harold incident, and it was time to get outta there. Oh kids, just another night in New York City. As I always say....I just can't make this stuff up.

Another Sweet Ass Ride

2010-09-08T09:00:00.001-04:00

One Sweet Ass Ride

2010-09-07T08:14:00.000-04:00

Hottest Summer Ever

2010-09-06T10:14:00.001-04:00

Stick a fork in it....Summer is done.

Top o' the Morning to Ya

2010-09-04T08:25:00.000-04:00

Intervention Ware from Fishs Eddy.

Graffiti Door

2010-08-13T08:08:00.000-04:00

Not the most welcoming of entrances to come home to in the evening.

Hi, How Are You

2010-07-30T08:00:00.001-04:00

Frog.

Hotel San Jose

2010-07-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

Hotel San Jose - Austin, TX

Austin Motel

2010-07-28T08:00:00.001-04:00

So close, yet so far out.

Spider House

2010-07-27T10:59:00.001-04:00

Spider House in Austin, TX is pure heaven.

Photos by Babs K.

West 4th Stop Sunspots

2010-07-18T07:00:00.002-04:00

Never before have I seen the sun shining in the subway.

Photo by Babs K.

Mr. Brainwash Goes Neurotic

2010-07-17T07:00:00.002-04:00

Woody Allen via Mr. Brainwash

Photo by Babs K.

Scariest Clown Ever

2010-07-16T08:00:00.002-04:00

Somehow I don't think you are getting ice cream after your tonsils are removed at this place.

Photo by Babs K.

New York Public Library Goes Modern

2010-06-22T07:00:00.003-04:00

Ah, it's just scaffolding.

Photo by Babs K.

Trés Ornate in Soho

2010-06-21T07:00:00.002-04:00

They just don't make 'em like they used to.

Photo by Babs K.

The Old Yankee Stadium - Deconstructed

2010-06-17T07:23:00.001-04:00

The old Yankee Stadium - Deconstructed

Photo by Babs K.

Central Park Idyll

2010-05-31T07:02:00.000-04:00

Central Park Idyll

Photo by Babs K.

Rock Out

2010-05-30T06:57:00.000-04:00

Born to rock, run and grind.

Bonjour Spring!

2010-05-29T06:50:00.001-04:00

What a show off of a tree.

Pesto Toast Lunch

2010-05-28T06:49:00.001-04:00

Tastes as good as it looks.

Photo by Babs K.

Strolling Through Savannah

2010-05-18T07:50:00.003-04:00

Witch's hair

Secret garden

Aloha

Good morning

Blue sky

Photos by Babs K.

NYC Rooftop Sunbathing Beauties

2010-05-13T06:52:00.001-04:00

It's funny to see the private school kids vs. the sunbathing beauties.

Photo by Babs K.

Suffrage Movement's in the House!

2010-05-04T08:18:00.001-04:00

When I say "votes" you say, "for women!" Votes!...For Women! Votes!...For Women!

Photo by Babs K.

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

2010-05-03T07:40:00.004-04:00

Courtesy of Bergdorf Goodman's window dressing masters. The details make their work amazing.

Photo by Babs K.

Suicide Statue

2010-04-27T08:13:00.002-04:00

Look closer...

What's going on in Madison Square Park?

Photos by Babs K.

A Tree Grows In SoHo

2010-04-15T07:15:00.003-04:00

Fire escape garden.

Photo by Babs K.

SoHo Graffiti Garden

2010-04-14T07:14:00.001-04:00

Tranquility amidst the chaos.

Photo by Babs K.

You Are What You Spray

2010-04-01T10:36:00.002-04:00

Arrogant by Davidoff.....Unleash your inner asshole.

Umbrella Taco Graveyard

2010-03-30T11:50:00.001-04:00

Not only were there human casualties from the hurricane-like rains two weeks ago, but there is also a mass grave of taco'd umbrellas on Prince and Mulberry. Poor little things didn't stand a chance against those winds.

Photo by Babs K.

Google a Gyno?

2010-03-22T14:46:00.000-04:00

Looks like Google has become the new gynecologist. Just type "is it normal" to see the most frequently asked questions.

Lynch Mob Scarecrow

2010-03-20T18:33:00.001-04:00

Creepiest scarecrow in all of Manhattan. Looks like he was the victim of a lynch mob.

Village Paper No More

2010-03-11T10:09:00.002-05:00

Where the hell am I supposed to get my fart bombs now?

Photo by Babs K.

Pricey Puppy

2010-03-10T10:06:00.001-05:00

How does it feel to be on sale at Le Petit Pup for $800?

You've Got Mail

2010-03-09T10:04:00.001-05:00

My version of "The Shop Around the Corner" has closed....to be reincarnated on Bleeker between 6th and 7th. I can't imagine it will be the same. Will probably be replaced by yet another Marc Jacobs store. Waaaa Waaaa.

Midwesterners Busted at the Pleasure Chest

2010-03-08T09:51:00.001-05:00

I can't imagine what this group of Midwesterners is doing at 10:30am at The Pleasure Chest. Must be a stop on the Sex and the City tour. I am sure the staff loves that.

Breakfast at La Bonbonniere

2010-03-07T09:41:00.002-05:00

La Bonbonniere is vintage NYC West Village

There they are! Just waiting to be enjoyed.

Sweet, syrupy deliciousness.

Gaga's Ginormous Grammy Wedgie

2010-02-02T15:04:00.004-05:00

Gaga, you know you want to pick it. Do it!!! I will give the girl credit, though...it takes major balls to wear a get-up like that without any stockings. Beyonce would never rock it bare leg.

You Know You're Thin When.....#2

2010-01-21T12:17:00.004-05:00

OMFG. Ribs, clavicles, and saggy boobies. Roger is such a lucky guy. Can you imaging getting with that every night. It must be like f-ing a corpse. Eat a carrot or something, Rachel Zoe. And please, whatever you do...do not remove that wrap!

Beyonce Gets the Short Stick...Gaga Wins

2009-11-24T15:12:00.002-05:00

In the battle to keep up with Gaga, Beyonce has made herself the first sacrificial lamb to collaborate with her. Funny how they were on each other's songs at exactly the same time. Ah, all the more easy to compare the two. Sorry B., but your song, Video Phone, blows compared to Gaga's Telephone. I watched the Video Phone video once and was counting the seconds until it would end (being Beyonce and all, I did give her the respect to watch the entire thing). I think Gaga comes out on top....and her video isn't even out yet. What do you think?

VS.

Missed Connection

2009-11-22T11:28:00.002-05:00

L Train - Union Square to Graham...Stunning - w4m - 26

Reply to: pers-858386854@craigslist.org [?]

Date: 2008-09-28, 12:17PM EDT

I spotted you at the Union Square L stop from down the platform. You have stunning gray/blue eyes I could see from the distance. We boarded the train in our respective cars, but to my surprise you switched to my car at the 3rd ave stop. You were wearing a blue flannel jacket and green t-shirt underneath. After a game of eye-tag that felt like it came straight out of a movie, I stood up before the Graham stop with the hope you would follow....and you did. I walked up the stairs right next to you. I stopped at the top of the stairs to get my directional bearings and you kept walking. As I crossed the street I looked back at you, and I think you were looking back too.

I know this is a complete shot in the dark, but I would love to see you again.

The good ones always get away.

Sunset from the High Line

2009-11-09T07:27:00.002-05:00

Sunset from the High Line....heavenly.

Help! I'm Romantically Involved With My Vespa

2009-10-30T11:40:00.006-04:00

Well, isn't this a romantic sight on Thompson Street at 9am on a Thursday morning. Someone hearts their Vespa....or the person riding it.

You Know You're Thin When #1

2009-05-08T14:09:00.004-04:00

You know you're ridiculously thin when.....the ankle strap of your stilettos look like bangle bracelets on anorexic wrists. Watch out for flying shoes and twisted ankles!

Gorgeous Blamain Spring '09 number, though. Bravo!

2009 Met Costume Institute Gala--The Worst of the Worst

2009-05-05T17:02:00.007-04:00

I hate to be a nasty shrew (oh wait, no i don't), but Louis Vuitton dressed the worst of the worst at last night's Met Costume Institute Gala. The scary thing is that no one leaves the house thinking they look awful, so I also have to fault these mal-dressed mix-ups and their handlers who played a game of "The Emperor's New Clothes". I would advise these ladies to never be nasty to their assistant, PR rep, or stylist ever again....this is what awaits you--the fast track to the worst dressed list. Thankfully for their careers, normal humans aren't scouring the slideshow on Style.com (all 146 pictures of it). Just another instance of the runway to reality disparity....even if you are on a red carpet.

Check out all the pics here.

Talk About Men at Work

2009-04-07T10:38:00.005-04:00

One of these things is not like the other....Hmmm, I see construction equipment, traffic cones, parking meter, scaffolding, mannequin head----MANNEQUIN HEAD???!!! Just another wonderful Saturday stroll in my NYC neighborhood. I guess they didn't want the machinery to get lonely over the weekend. That, or they have some freaky Weird Science fantasy. Our tax dollars at work, my friends.

I Love NY Mag's Reasons to Love New York

2008-12-22T11:36:00.007-05:00

I just love how I always end up reading New York Magazine's "Reasons to Love New York" issue while I am in Texas for the Holidays. Reading this every year (or the past three Holidays I have been a resident of NYC) makes me pine for the smelly streets, the crowded sidewalks, and the guy with the gangrenous foot at the downtown 76th street 6 train stop (I swear that thing is a fake foot to get money...it has looked the same for the past year and a half, no lie). Besides the great little snippets on why real writers love NY, my favs are the ones submitted online by readers. Below are the standouts of 2008, mainly because I could have written them about myself.

No. 2- "Because it loves me! I was born and raised in Texas and moved to New York City when I was 25--twelve years ago. In Texas, I was thought to be difficult, hardheaded, controlling, opinionated, bitchy, etc. when I moved here, all of a sudden I was considered sweet, polite, kind, intelligent, etc. I know I didn't change--I was just free from the South's idea of how a woman should behave." by Angela Landon

No. 33- "Because every time you visit another U.S. city, you instantly realize how attractive and sophisticated you really are. It is so easy to get laid as a New Yorker out of town. Easier than Brooklyn, even." by Brawndo

No. 54- "Because when people find out I am single, they don't look at me in a way that is the perfect combination of horror and pity." by Carla Stockton

Finally, I have to give props to my all time favorite from 2007...that we have single-handedly turned Starbucks into our own network of public restrooms.

For all the other amazing reasons to love NYC click here.

Posh Spice New Hair Revealed

2008-09-09T08:03:00.002-04:00

Screw the Fug Girls....Victoria Beckham in on point as ever! Pic snagged from Perez. I would never use a phrase like "Hawt'....It should be "Haute" you fat doof.

Posh Spice New Do...saga continues

2008-09-09T07:49:00.001-04:00

I can't find any pics online yet, but this does not sound promising. HEY, there is no such thing as bad publicity.

NY Mag Fug Girls
Inside Marc Jacobs: Posh Spice Hair Emergency!
9/8/08 at 9:13 PM
Comment 00Comment 00Comments

Our correspondents have just arrived! They report: "We just got here; the runway has a line of zigzagging mirrors down the center. It looks like the finale of A Chorus Line. And I don't know if I'm seeing things, very bad things, but Victoria Beckham just walked in and it would seem that she's cut off all her hair. It's horrendous! Like little tufts all over head. Jennifer Lopez just got here too (wearing a white dress). Posh kind of sneaked in behind her and hardly anyone noticed. Given the hair, probably for the best."

By: Jessica Coen

Victoria Beckham the new Mia Farrow?

2008-09-08T09:47:00.009-04:00

Here is a juicy bit of news! We are in the thick of New York Fashion Week. Everyone has been scouring the papers and the web to get their fill of fashion, celebrities behaving badly, and model drama. You may have noticed that one of my favorite fashionistas, Posh Spice, has been completely absent from the festivities thus far.

A little birdie told me she went to Garren Salon straight from the PJ (private jet for those of you out of the upper echelon acronym loop) to get rid of that tired bob which I hear was full of extensions...hence adding to the lollipop head. She is now sporting a Mia Farrow via Rosemary's Baby style cropped pixie cut. Vicky B has been holed up in her hotel room since Friday night (good God think of that room service bill!....oh wait, she doesn't eat---think of that mini bar bill!)

This is sure to cause quite a stir and get those tongues wagging when she makes her grand entrance at the Marc Jacobs show and party Monday night. I can't wait!!

Dump your old electronics at Union Square tomorrow!

2008-01-05T14:24:00.000-05:00

Do you have a printer that just wont print...a phone that just wont phone....or speakers that just wont speak...a computer that takes you back to your elementary Oregon Trail days?

Take them all to Union Square Sunday, Jan 6th from 10am to 4pm to recycle these little jewels of hazardous waste. Clutter in your home means clutter in your life. Make 2008 clutter free. The principles of Feng Shui say that dead things in your home lead to bad energy, so git rid of the stuff that doesn't work and help out the environment a little too.

Event sponsored by the Lower East Side Ecology Center. For more info click here.

Todd Joyce on home page of Break.com

2008-01-04T16:20:00.000-05:00

Watch Todd get the crap scared out of him by The King on Break.com....it is even more funny if you know him and have experienced his girlish screams first hand. I love it!

The King Strikes at Break!!! - Watch more free videos

Sex and the City Movie Preview....YES!

2007-12-07T11:23:00.000-05:00

The Homeless Horseman

2007-11-24T12:21:00.000-05:00

I will preface this story by assuming everyone knows what the Central Park horse-driven carriages look like. You know, picturesque early 1900's looking chariots driven by inauthentic men in top hats living out some childhood rodeo or Kentucky Derby fantasy gone awry. These horse move at a snail's pace and basically look like some of the most miserable creatures on earth. And so begins my story....

I was on my way home from HK at 39th and 9th Ave; standing on the corner with my best friend and his sister visiting from the Michigan, trying to keep warm and hail a cab. From afar we hear the faint sound of clomping horses. Now this was all very confusing since a)we are no where near nature b)Central Park is a solid 20 blocks north of where we are c)the horses are kept on the far Upper West Side at night and it was about 2am.

As the sound grew louder and louder we look up 9th Ave. to find a man standing at the helm of one of these carriages with the horse GALLOPING down the street. The driver was definitely not one of the lethargic horsemen of norm, but seemed to be a homeless man who had hijacked the horse and buggy. He made a sharp right on 39th Street almost taking out my friend's sister all the while screaming, "GET OUTTA MY WAY YOU PERVERTS!!" And then he rode off into the night never to be seen again.

Sighting of My Fearless Leader

2007-11-11T11:45:00.000-05:00

Just another random walk home from the subway: like many before, like many will be afterwards. I saw a movie set in Bryant Park (like many before, like many will be afterwards) and decided to walk by since Fashion Week is probably my favorite time of the year. I was very curious to see who was shooting with a fake fashion week tent in the background. Movie sets are a lot of hurry up and wait so I didn't think I would see anyone worth noting. I took a quick glimpse and kept on my way down 6th Avenue.

At about 40th and 6th I noticed a girl walking towards me with this crazy outfit on. This being New York and everything, I didn't think anything of it. Seriously, it looked like she was wearing two giant dirty snowballs (or dandelion puffs). She wasn't with a mass of people so I really thought nothing of it.....until I got closer. Our paths crossed and when she was about 10 feet away from me I realized......OMG IT IS SARAH JESSICA PARKER!!! IT IS CARRIE BRADSHAW!!! MY FEARLESS LEADER!!! Once I realized who she was a smile spread across my face that I could not have possibly controlled. She looked at me and smiled back in a silent "I know you are a huge fan and thank you for now attacking me with cameras and praises" kind of way. As soon as it was over I had to stop by the first place I knew that had wireless internet and let me partner in crim (and fellow SATC devotee) know who I had seen.

This has easily been my favorite sighting over the past year and half. Sex and the City changed the way women think about everything from fashion to boys to shoes to careers. The show was one of my huge inspirations to move to New York, and seeing Sarah Jessica Parker was really the icing on the Maglolia cupcake. The only thing that would have topped this is if Carrie had been walking down the street with Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte.....I think I would have passed out.

Anna Wintour, Eat Your Heart Out

2007-11-04T21:25:00.000-05:00

Halloween has never been so fabulous.

The Legend

The Inspiration

The Reality

Marc Jacobs Loves Pigs

2007-10-10T07:54:00.000-04:00

Happy Halloween from the Marc Jacobs store on Bleecker. Shield the eyes of your kids lest they turn into vegetarians immediately. Is Marc trying to tell us a) Happy Halloween b) meat is murder or c) he is Jewish. I'm not really sure, but I can tell you that pig was not done off in a kosher way. I can't wait till Sexy Santa comes back for pics this December!

CP30's Dream Woman

2007-10-08T19:36:00.000-04:00

While walking down 25th Street every day, I always laugh a little to myself at this mannequin shop half way down the block. In the window is the most redeculous mannequin I have ever seen (and I am totally creeped out by them the way others get nervous around clowns or Halloween masks). I think to myself, "Aw, this is CP30's dream woman." This mannequin spends her days staring down to the street below like a gold plated Rapunzel wishing to be rescued.

Dove Onslaught Viral Video

2007-10-03T09:20:00.000-04:00

Unilever hits us with another look at the beauty industry. But wait.....arent they in the beauty industry? Last time I checked they produce self tanning, anti-aging, volumizing, and firming products. Love the skin you're in!

Fat-Asses of the World Unite!

2007-09-20T09:31:00.000-04:00

Does the thought of narrow stadium seats make you cringe? The thought of hard plastic cutting into your flesh, muffin tops spilling over the arm rests to the horror and dismay of your neighbors? Well fear not fatties, organizers of the 2012 Olympics in London are accomodating you by ordering wider seats for the stadiums. I find this raises a serious question though...Should society condone this "flabberization" of its population?

Check out the article:
Do Bigger Chairs Make Bigger Butts

Raisin Face takes on the Devil who wears Prada

2007-09-13T13:43:00.000-04:00

Raisin-face Rachel Zoe is at it again....getting a little too big for her size 00 britches. This time she has taken on my beloved Anna Wintour, Vogue editor and basically the compass of the fashion industry. Guess what honey, the trailer trash that reads US Weekly (where your clients are most prominently featured) want's to find your picks at H&M or Forever 21. Anna on the other hand is a style beacon, a lighthouse in the monstrous sea of designers transcending fashion, celebrity, and philanthropy. Zoe needs to get herself back in line immediately. Speaking of lines.....learn something from Anna, and cover up those canyons with some bangs.

WWD
Published: Thursday, September 13, 2007
WHO’S BIGGER?: Rachel Zoe has never been known for having a small ego, but who knew she considered herself the most important woman in fashion. “Anna Wintour is one of my heroes, but they say I’m more influential,” Zoe tells Lynn Hirschberg in this Sunday’s issue of The New York Times Magazine. “As great as it is, Vogue won’t change a designer’s business. But if an unknown brand is worn by a certain person in a tabloid, it will be the biggest designer within a week.”

Arrogant? Perhaps. But she’s certainly making a comparable salary to the famed editor in chief. According to Hirschberg, the stylist makes roughly $6,000 a day, which is generally paid for by the movie studios when her clients have movies to promote for them. And others are clearly interested in her services as well, among them the Bravo network, which is reportedly in talks with Zoe about doing a show for them. — Jacob Bernstein

Who wants to be the next Paris Hilton???

2007-09-13T10:06:00.000-04:00

Ah, the continued downfall and deterioration of our society. Speaking of society....this is exactly the thing future Paris's and Niclole's of the world need to propel them into the limelight (DUI, jail time, and pregnancy are so hot right now). Truthfully, any socialite worth her salt doesn't need a reality TV show to make it happen for herself, and anyone with a reputable family would be locked in the dungeon of the estate before going on a TV show like this. My prediction is that it will be littered with d-list socialites and the hanger's on who wish they were.....makes for good TV though since they are hungry to claw their way to the top and obviously must whore themeslves out to do so.

PS - My guess is that the "reigning socialite princess" is none other than our nemisis, Tinsley Mortimer

Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2007 13:59:54
To:"Avo Yermagyan"
Subject: ANNOUNCING NATIONWIDE SEARCH FOR SOCIETY GIRLS LOOKING TO BECOME THE NEXT "IT GIRL" -
Gaudy PR

Please see the Press Release, included below:
____________________________________

For Immediate Release

ANNOUNCING NATIONWIDE SEARCH FOR SOCIETY GIRLS
LOOKING TO BECOME THE NEXT "IT GIRL"

(September 2007) Beverly Hills, CA - Doron Ofir Casting, in
association with The Mottola Company and 25/7 Productions have begun
casting for a fierce new television series searching for America's
most ambitious, driven, stylish, and socially conscious young
debutantes of pedigree, who wish to propel their careers and causes
onto the world stage, while being led by New York's reigning socialite
princess.

This exclusive invitation is being presented to America's elite
debutantes and is the chance that every aspiring "it girl" dreams of.
"I'm excited to bring this coveted opportunity to these aspiring it
girls across the nation..." said Doron Ofir, President of Doron Ofir
Casting, when asked about the search, he continues, "...We are seeking
the future female leaders who will reign with unstoppable zeal,
unprecedented style, and an unwavering dedication to philanthropy.
These upwardly-mobile young women should be at least 21 years of age,
appear under 26, and have the determination to make their mark on the
most important social scene in the world, New York City. This is not
an open casting call. This is for a very select few".

The yet to be revealed society powerhouse, New York's reigning
socialite princess, will choose one exemplary protege out of 10
formidable ingenues, to be awarded this life changing experience. The
special girl will network her way through New York City's social
labyrinth and get on the radar by impressing the judges with her
sophistication, beauty, and social awareness. By joining this
exclusive Manhattan Sorority, she will be invited to the city's most
glamorous happenings and events, coiffed and styled by the best, and
have the chance to secure her place in the world of high society,
deeming her worthy of the sought after title of "It Girl".

For more information on this search, to be considered as a
participant, or to nominate a friend, please visit:
www.societygirlcasting.com

For additional inquiries, please e-mail: societygirlcasting@gmail.com
or contact Paisley Baker, Doron Ofir Casting: 310.467.3007.

###

Cheers!

Avo Yermagyan
Gaudy PR

Soho Art Parade

2007-09-07T10:45:00.000-04:00

If you do nothing else this weekend chisel out some time around 4pm on Saturday to head down to Soho for the Deitch Projects Art Parade. It is wild, crazy, hillarious, and oh so much fun; costumes and artistic performances abound. I promise not to dissapoint. I just happened to come across this event last summer, and once I knew the date of the 2007 parade I actually put it in my day planner so I would not miss it. This is the event to close the summer, dear readers....don't miss it.

Deitch Projects Art Parade - Saturday, Sept 8th @ 4pm
Parade goes down West Broadway from Houston to Grand

Free Eats on the LES

2007-09-05T19:11:00.000-04:00

Best deal in the city for those on a shoestring budget.....or those who have been shopped out of house and home by the end of the Barneys Warehouse Sale (as I was this past weekend). I will literally be an old woman who lived in her shoes, but thanks to the new Whole Foods on Houston and Bowrey I will be able to feast on all the free samples at the Wednesday night "Block Party". That's right, from 6-8pm every Wednesday give your palate a workout and your pocketbook a rest. Delve into culinary delights such as exotic cheese, sweets, breads, and meats. All food groups are represented so get thee to Whole Foods and have a well balanced meal on them!

Beauty Queen has reasoning ability of 6 year old

2007-08-27T12:59:00.000-04:00

This is so completely embarrassing I just had to share. Kudos to the great state of South Carolina and their amazing educational system for giving birth to this amazingly awful answer to a question that one really can't get wrong. I just feel bad for this child. As stated in Billy Madison, we are all now less intelligent for hearing this answer.

Not Just for Tourists - Coney Island

2007-08-22T07:56:00.000-04:00

Step right up, step right up folks! Come see the amazing wonderment that is Coney Island. Word on the street is that it's the last summer for this century-old playground so hop on the Q train and see it before it becomes luxury highrises. Granted, if not for the historical presence this dump would have been torn down a long time ago. It is full of creaky, old amusement park rides, creepy carnies, and a crowd mixed with tourists and the pickpockets who love them. Here are my top "to-dos" for your Coney Island trip.

1. You MUST go to the freak show/sideshow act. Sadly, this was the main reason I wanted to go out there. Who doesn't want to see a man drive a nail through his head, a firebreather, a sword swallower, or a dude with his face completely covered in hair who also happens to be a tightrope walker. Seriously, if you go to Coney Island for an hour this is what you have to do....this is Americana at its finest.

2. Get ready for the rush of nitrates and the smell of all things fried...you must have a Nathan's hotdog. Forget the pathetic stand on the boardwalk; go to the original location across the street from the subway stop (and closer to the freak show). The hotdogs are actually quite good and as my mom says, she like the dogs where the skin that snaps when you bite into it. Nasty, but critical in the hotdog experience. Stroll to the side of the building to check out the Nathan's Hotdog Eating Contest wall of fame. Listen to your gastrointestinal tract churn as you read the number of dogs consumed. What I don't understand is how the hell the winning number went from like 9 in 1987 to 66 in 2007. What happened in 20 years that has allowed man to consume over 6 times the number of hot dogs in 12 minutes. Seriously, all you need is one.

3. Bring you swim suit and towel because the freak show and eating a hot dog will only take about an hour and 10 minutes....there is a beach at Coney Island. Granted the waves are miniscule and the sand is a bit industrial, but there are tons of beach volleyball courts, scantily clad co-eds and a wonderful boardwalk that stretches to Brighton Beach where you can pick up the Q and return to lovely Manhattan.

www.coneyisland.com

Celeb Sighting - Tori Spelling & Fam

2007-08-14T09:56:00.000-04:00

Celeb Sighting - Tori Spelling with hubby Dean and little tot Liam walking down West Broadway this past Saturday. As a child of the 90210 generation, I loved this sighting. PS - Her husband is freaking HOT.....and no, I did not take this pic.

The Bourne Ultimatum

2007-08-14T09:41:00.000-04:00

Go see The Bourne Ultimatum immediately. It's not the cliche summer action flick you are expecting; The Bourne series always has a great story, amazing locales, and this one doesn't have a sappy love interest (which is nice for once). Here is the jist: Jason realizes something has gone very wrong with the "program" he is involved in....he wants to find out who started it, and who made him the desensitized killing machine he has become. I love how they filmed a good chunk of the car chase when he is in the NYPD car in my 'hood. Just look for the shots of the Organic Market and Chipotle. Now I understand whey they basically shut down my street for 4 days filming that thing.....at times they wouldn't even let anyone walk out of their apartments. ....Baby it's hot outside, so let Jason Bourne (aka David Webb) cool you off.

My New Toy

2007-08-09T11:23:00.000-04:00

I have a new addition to my family......yesterday I brought home a mac. Endless hours of fun, procrastination and creativity are in my future. I am not exactly sure what this will mean for ScapeNY, but I am certain there will be funny pictures and movies of me at a bare minimum. Be prepared dear readers.....this is about to get muy caliente!

Mannequin Orgy on 5th Ave!

2007-08-07T12:59:00.000-04:00

You never would guess what goes on behind the closed doors of the Kenneth Cole dressing room on 5th Ave. I noticed a strange door in the dressing room when I was there recently, and in my quest for constant amusement and curiosity I opened the door only to discover the seedy underground doings of a mannequin orgy in full force! Limbs, breasts, lumps, and pouches entwined in a naked soiree of plastic perfection. It's a good thing there weren't any child mannequins being exposed to this hidden nudist colony...it would have been necessary to alert the authorities immediately.

Celeb Sighting - Lisa Rinna

2007-08-03T09:02:00.000-04:00

Lisa Rinna spotted at Broadway and 24th Street.

She is in NYC for a brief stint in the musical, Chicago, with her husband Harry Hamlin. I think she has had the same suburban Tony & Guy meets Sally Hershberger hair cut for the past decade, so if that didn't give it away, it was the freakishly inflated lips. It is painful to see those things in real life. It is like Angelina Jolie's mouth on steroids without chapstick (her lips are kinda wrinkly). Anyways, she has a great body so I will give her major props for that.

Sayonara Tarrytown!

2007-08-02T12:51:00.000-04:00

Oh how bittersweet this last train ride back to the city is......

Beyonce's Orlando Face Plant

2007-07-26T10:15:00.000-04:00

Call me crazy, but does anyone else see the similarity in Beyonce's "moves" and the new Sunsilk commercial where the girl has to get a neck brace from swinging her hair too hard? Maybe instead of whipping that mane around she should concentrate on where to place her feet on the stairs. I know everyone has eaten it before on a staircase (my crowning moment was a grand entrance into the Hammerstein Ballroom for a Jennifer Hudson concert), but at least I don't have a hundred people with cameras ready to document.

Fatties----not in Manhattan

2007-07-24T11:08:00.000-04:00

America has an obesity problem? Seriously, I hardly ever see really fat people in Manhattan. Yes, I may sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen all day, but living in New York requires that you have to get off your ass and walk just to survive. Below is a normal day in NYC for me (and most New Yorkers). Normal tasks take on new meaning when you don't have a gas-guzzling SUV to haul you and your junk around.

- Commuting: On my way to work I walk up and down 199 stairs each way (yes, I counted yesterday) for a grand total of 398 stairs a day including walking to and from the subway and train station. I am going to guess that most people get in their car that is parked in the attached garage and circle the parking lot at work to find the closest spot possible (if not pirate the visitors or handicapped parking space).

- The grocery store: Yep, I walk to the grocery store, buy my food for the week and carry my bags home. Thank god I live 5 minutes away from Whole Foods (I use to have to take the subway to the grocery store - more stairs), and at least I don't live in a walk-up. I probably end up burning off the bag of groceries before I consume it. Haha.

- Shopping: There is no mall in Manhattan, and the closest Target is either at 225th Street or in New Jersey. One-stop shopping is virtually unheard of....and that means one thing: walking...with shopping bags.

- Working out: Yes, after all that you must either walk or take the subway (which includes stairs) to the gym. It's a nice little warm up, especially in the winter.

The SATC lifestyle of taking cabs everywhere gets really expensive really fast, so I would venture to say that most of us either use public trans or hoof it. Granted, you do hear freak stories of people having to be removed from their apartments with a crane, but for the most part people are quite slim here. I am sure it helps that a bag of groceries will run you $30. Gotta love Manhattan, kids.

My biggest fear....

2007-07-23T12:48:00.000-04:00

My biggest fear splashed across the pages of NY Magazine.

Wonderful Electrician in NYC

2007-07-23T09:33:00.000-04:00

Renting in NYC means shady landlords, old buildings, unattractive light fixtures, and the dreaded window-unit air conditioner. Coming from Texas, I had no idea buildings had anything but central air....boy was I wrong. My climate controlled life had swiftly come to an end. My ceiling fan had been broken for months, so as we are dragged kicking and screaming into the dog days of summer, I had to get the fan fixed pronto.

After being stood up twice by my roommate's mother's electrician, I got the number of a great guy from a friend who had just had dimmers and overhead fixtures installed in his apartment. Adi, the electrician, was completely friendly, un-creepy, and did a wonderful job (he even went to Home Depot with me to pick out a new fan so I got the right model). Superb customer service, punctual, and friendly....if you need an electrician in Manhattan, this is your go-to guy.

Adi "Electrician Extraordinaire" - 917-547-8720

My Lip Gloss is Poppin!

2007-07-20T13:53:00.000-04:00

In honor of my fabulous friend Jordan's song du jour, here is a spoof on Lil Mama's song Lip Gloss....sticking with this week's tranny theme, of course. HIT IT!

Tranny - No Match

2007-07-20T11:46:00.001-04:00

Ok, so no match with the case of the bi-coastal trannies. I received a picture of my friend's brother's friend's tranny girlfriend who we thought was the same person as my friend, Hot Tranny. Turns out there are many more exotic lady-boys out there than you think. Guys, next time you sidle up to that cutie at the bar....that girl who looks extremely hot but has obviously had a lot of work done....think twice before you get too close. She may be packing a surprise you never imagined in your wildest dreams.

Tranny Update

2007-07-19T09:06:00.001-04:00

One of my most randomly met friends ever (I will post the amazing story TBD) was in town last night, and we went to La Focaccia for dinner on W 4th. On our walk down we were catching up since we had not seen each other in about a year, and of course he asked me to tell him crazy stories of what was going on with me. Of course I proceeded to tell him the craziest story of all, the Tranny Party Epic. He was amazed at this story (especially how we caught our married friend) and went on to tell his own tranny story....I guess everyone has a tranny story. Turns out his brother's uber-preppy friend is dating a tranny porn star. When I mentioned what my tranny friend's name was he immediately gave me a strange look, "that is what his girlfriend's name is" he said. STRANGE. So I proceeded to ramble off a number of defining characteristics such as where she lives, what she looks like, etc, and they all checked out. I would absolutely love it if my tranny friend was dating his brother's friend. What a coincidence. CRAZY. I immediately emailed him pictures this morning to get a visual confirmation. I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED!!!

I Wonder if This Job is Paid Hourly?

2007-07-16T10:37:00.000-04:00

I was perusing through my Monster job alert email, when I came across this gem of an HR nightmare: Title - Market Research ANAL. It's a good thing the company is confidential....unless they are a producer of laxatives, enemas, or products skewed towards gay males. Someone's getting fired over this one. Hahah.

Click on the image to get a better view.

One Piece Suit

2007-07-14T12:31:00.000-04:00

I am officially an adult. For the first time since I was 8 years old I have bought a one-piece swimsuit. I am going to my colleague's home upstate for her annual pool/bbq/fun-in-the-sun party. Now, I love skimpy suits, but there is definitely a time and a place for those things....and I plan on stuffing my face with burgers, drinking cocktails all day, and I can't really be bothered with the attention a bikini needs. Sooooo I got the hottest one-piece I could find at American Apparel: sexy, yet covered....cut outs in all the right places... This suit makes me want to wear heels at the pool and have a cabana boy by rub me down with SPF 30 (no tanning oil for this broad....wrinkles are not hot).

The Suit

Posh and Becks Take on W Mag - HOT

2007-07-12T09:01:00.000-04:00

I think little Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham, has ousted her own husband as sexiest human. The Steven Klein photos in the August 07 issue of W are nothing less than sultry, sweaty, and voyeuristic. Seems like she is channeling a bit of Edie Sedgewick grit and Liz Taylor glam. Can you imagine that she has pushed two kiddies out of that body?? Now that is what I call good genes....and an endless supply of money to make yourself hot. Gorgeous! Now if only we could get David Beckham to lighten up on the tats....he looks like he came straight from either a prison yard or a trailer park.

See all the pics on Style.com

New Fav Blogs

2007-07-10T10:54:00.000-04:00

These are must reads in the endless quest for work-day procrastination. How can I be expected to get anything done when I can look at hilarious photo documentation of gay Fire Island shenanigans and read about the happenings radiating from the corner of Greenwich @ Bank? It makes me even more depressed that I must suffer through the recycled air and unflattering light of the cube....at least I can add a little entertainment and faggotry to my incredibly straight work day. Love it!

Gayz of Our Lives

Stoop News

Fireworks

2007-07-06T09:40:00.000-04:00

For those of you who missed the 4th of July fireworks in NYC because of rain you can get a quick recap below. There is nothing like watching fireworks from the top of a high-rise and managing to hold an umbrella, cocktail, and camera at the same time. Too bad I can't lay in a track of the Star Spangled Banner (or Madonna's I Love New York) in the background. Sad thing is that it's hard to tell whether we are celebrating the birth of our nation or getting attacked by a sect of gay terrorists (more glitter!!)....I need to get a better camera.

Parker Posey is my hero.

2007-07-06T09:31:00.000-04:00

She hit the nail right on the head with this quote. Now that I have reached the ripe old age of 25 I have entered into single spinster-dom according to my comrades in the South. Wake up people, you get way better wedding gifts if you wait to get married in your 30's when you friends actually have some disposable income. The North is soooo different. I love it.

"I wanted to leave the South when I was 11 years old. I was a ballerina, and I just knew I wanted to do something. I didn’t want to grow up and get married and have a family at the age of 18 or 21. I wanted to do things. It’s very different down South where you have more of that. I’m from Monroe, Louisiana, and you’re kind of a freak when you actually want to do something with your life.”

Disturbed

2007-07-05T12:30:00.000-04:00

Is it wrong I am disturbed by the fact that over 240 people have viewed my dancing she-male tranny video on YouTube in the past 4 days??? I don't know if that is a lot or not, but considering the ba-gillions of videos on YouTube it seems high. Hmmmmmmm.

Tranny Party - An Epic Tale

2007-07-03T10:09:00.000-04:00

We showed up around 11:30 (before Hot Tranny) and had to entertain ourselves for about 15 minutes before we were allowed in the back VIP section. Along the perimeter of the room was a line of the most awkward looking, unattractive men I have ever seen. The weirdos come out of the woodwork for events like this, I guess. The one thing I thought very strange was that these guys were straight. Now, I pride myself in running with a pack of extremely attractive gay men and none of the bystanders even gave them a glance. They were mesmerized by the she-males.

All the sudden Hot Tranny emerged and we were whisked back to the VIP room where $3 bottles of Andre champagne were popped and Grey Goose bottles filled with Svedka were unleashed. While we were observing the spectacle that is Hot Tranny work the room, the VIP area slowly started to fill with guys who had paid $150 a ticket to be graced with her presence. When I say VIP room I am sure you think of Marquee or Bungalow...a special jewel of a room; a den of iniquity and inebriation for the chosen few. This VIP room mirrored one you might find in Eastern Europe with oscillating floor fans bolted to the ceilings, exposed wiring, duct tape mended Ikea couches, and a plywood riser for the 'ladies' to dance on. While Hot Tranny was easily the queen of the party, the other trannies looked like men with fake boobs (not hot). Although, one actually looked a little like Salma Hayek and there was another who mirrored a 1980's Annie Lenoxx. As it turns out the trannies were not there to be gawked at like creatures in the zoo, but to line up their tricks for the night and meet with their 'clients'. I use the term clients very loosely as these ladies were obviously not doing any type of taxes, interior design, or practicing law.

After cheap vodka and even cheaper champagne it was time to make a trip to the girls room.....or what actually was the tranny staging area. The women's bathroom was teeming with trannies in various stages of makeup and undress. The bathroom attendant quickly ushered them out (as there were no doors on the stalls, and they are in fact guys) so we could pee. My roommate and I were given our 5-square ration of toilet paper from the attendant then finally were able to have a brief reprieve from the scene outside the bolted door.

Back in the VIP room, the trannies danced on the box, flirted with gross guys, but my roommate and I noticed a quite handsome man enter the VIP area. Well dressed, straight looking, very attractive, and a little familiar......Hot Tranny went over immediately and started to talk him up. My friend Todd looks up and goes "OH MY GOD THAT IS HAROLD*!!!"(name has been changed to protect the guilty) Todd and I had met Harold* at a few high society house parties a while back, and while there was always an aire of questionable sexuality from him, he was in fact married to a woman (although we know that doesn't mean a damn thing). After Hot Tranny was done chatting we called her over and began the interrogation to make sure it was the same guy. Turns out it WAS this guy Harold, and he is in fact one of Hot Tranny's 'clients'. O-M-G what does one do with information like this???? His poor wife! I can not even imagine finding out that your husband is cheating on you with a chick who has a penis. I can't! Harold noticed us dying in the corner and quickly houdini'd out of the place. Todd texted him later to ask what he was up to, and he promptly replied that he was having dinner at Pastis...ya if by Pastis you mean cheating on your wife with a tranny, then I guess so. Can you imagine showing up somewhere like that in a very compromising environment where you think you will never be discovered....only to find two people who know you.

After that things were getting a little out of hand....lap dances, really mannish trannies, etc. so it was definitely time to jet. The gays and straights alike in our group were all a little fazed by the Harold incident, and it was time to get outta there. Oh kids, just another night in New York City. As I always say....I just can't make this stuff up.

Waxer Beware!

2007-06-28T14:15:00.000-04:00

Summer means one thing: swimming. Whether it be the beach or the pool, a tidy "down there" region is a must. Be warned, dear reader: while glossing through Gawker I found a frightening article about getting waxed. I have said it before, and I will say it again....leave the Brazilians to the professionals. If a place is charging less than $60 in NYC then I would steer clear. Best bets are the J. Sisters or Bliss. A friend of mine in Chicago went to some shady place and ended up having a patch of ingrown hairs that did not go away for over a YEAR. Be careful...it's a jungle out there either way!

Bikini Wax Disasters on Gawker

You know it's Gay Pride in NYC when.....2

2007-06-27T13:15:00.000-04:00

Someone got a good workout before the Pride parade on Sunday! Maybe this is Lance Armstrong's gay brother....Actually, I think he is the long lost twin of the famed silver leggings man at my holiday party. He should probably buy stock in American Apparel now.