Proper Undergarmets - 1

Ok, this will be the first installment in my series about proper undergarments. I hope to rid the earth of pantie faux pas one crotch at a time. The stories you are about to hear are true....the names have been changed to protect the offenders.

Lesson #1 - Boy Shorts

Ladies, while you are getting ready for a night out you must ask yourself two questions when deciding upon undergarments.....a)If by chance I were to trip and fall and my dress went up around my head what would people see? b) Will I be engaging in any activity where a situation like that has higher probability of occurring (ie- booze, drugs, sky-high stilettos etc)?

My dear friend Henrietta* bought this fabulous pink slip dress from Intermix to wear to dinner with the guy she is dating and a few of our other close friends. Henrietta is a very petite girl to say the least and has the tendency of getting a little intoxicated on a few drinks....When you weight 80 pounds a few glasses of vino will do that to you. Anyways, after 5 bottles of Rose at dinner (shared by 5 people, give me a break) she was well on her way to becoming "that girl". Now, we all know "that girl" and the majority of us have been "that girl" at one point or another. Needless to say her dress barely covered her behind and unfortunately she was wearing thong. After dinner we went to a friend's apartment for a little pre-game before the bar where we all continued to party. Henrietta made one bad move....we see it all the time from britney, lindsay, and the like....the moment you let your guard down is when the paparazzi start flashing their cameras. She carelessly sat on this boy's lap (not her bf), and in her drunkenness moved her legs in a very unladylike fashion. AND THERE IT WAS. Henrietta's misplaced thong coupled with a fresh Brazilian wax gave the entire room a full view of her bare a room full of gay boys none the less this was quite a site. She was way too drunk to realize what happened, but the image will be burned into our brains forever.

The moral of the story is.....when wearing a dress which hits above the knee, please go with the boy short. Unless you are a stripper, britney/paris wannabe, or just escaped from a nudist colony, leave the thong at home.

1 comment:

  1. actual quote from bab's active profile: biggest pet peeve? Girls who don't wear the right underwear with their clothes. Ughh."

    nice to see things haven't changed.


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